When I was in high school, I had (what I thought) was a close group of girl friends. There were about five of us in the same French class. I remember being really excited that we’d all have class together. That was until I realized they wanted nothing to do with me. They passed notes back and forth (with me sitting in their group), but not to me. They would all go out together after school, drive around, listen to music, get food, but not with me.
I remember telling myself “it gets better,” and counting down the days until graduation.
I started college, and joined a sorority. I thought I finally had a great group of friends. When I decided to leave the sorority, and only three girls still talked to me after I was no longer paying membership fees, I realized it wasn’t what I thought it would be.
So now, I find myself some friends in the blogging world, and I’m happy again. But, I’m slowly reminded that the blogging world is just like high school. I see cliques and groups that are “invite only,” and makes my head hurt. I’m all for groups and blogger memes, but not if they’re exclusive.
I thought I made friends with other bloggers, only to find myself removed from their personal and online lives, without an explanation of why. Not that I really want them to tell me they think I’m 1. crazy; 2. mean, or; 3.a terrible person (because those are the only reasons, right?). It just sucks when you think you made a friendship with someone, only to find out you’re wrong. (Although, I do believe and agree that our tastes change. Some of the blogs I read two years ago, I don’t read any more. I read blogs now I wouldn’t have dreamed of reading back then, so I never apologize for changing my tastes. But what hurts is someone you thought was a friend doing these things.)
There are meetups that leave people out, popularity contests, bitchiness, talking behind other people’s backs, blogs that make fun of other bloggers, and so on. I realize (and I’m sure other bloggers realize), that when you decide to put yourself out there, in any way, you’re opening yourself up to be scrutinized. Yes, we all have a right to our own opinions, but are some of them really necessary to promote?
Sure, I’ll admit it, I’ve visited a few blogs and didn’t “get” their style. But all their readers do. And I’ve visited other blog and totally “got” their style and wondered why they didn’t have thousands more readers.
Maybe it’s just the mindset I’ve been in lately, but I’m sick of feeling like I’m in high school again. I’m 25 years old. I shouldn’t feel like I’m back in high school.
From now on, this is my mantra: