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Cornell sorority says no “gross plastic shizzzz,” “fuck-me pumps” or “muffin tops.”

Editors note: these are not guidelines from my sorority, nor do I know the person who wrote them. I simply posted them because I found it to be slightly ridiculous.

I came across this six page document from Pi Phi sorority at Cornell, on Fashionista, giving very specific instructions how the sisters could dress.

214102268_b11236ad17_oI was in a sorority in college, but it was never like this. I think we had some guidelines like “blue shirt, khaki pants, clean hair” during rush week, but I don’t ever remember being told I couldn’t wear American Apparel or had to wear Kate Spade shoes.

I have to say, through further review, I think this is fricken hilarious. It’s quite obvious that the author of this guide (who, through further digging I found out is the former recruitment chair Mariana Diez) is obviously just trying to give guidelines for rush week. Now, I remember the reason we dressed similar/the same during rush week was to make the girls feel very comfortable. They see the same thing on every girl in the room and feel like they’ve already met all of us. It’s genius, really.

But this guideline takes the cake.
n429800_32809025_8230_biggerMariana, the alleged author, was using her authority as recruitment chair to make sure they all conformed to the rules, and more specifically, her rules. ( I found the pic via her twitter account, which is now deleted, but you can view the cached front page here.)

(By the way, this chick really needed to use spell check and maybe an editor before printing this for all the Pi Phi girls. Just sayin!)

Anyway, the highlights of the guidelines are:

Clothes
– Denim leggings are appropriate as long as it’s done right: aka, not from American Apparel and worn with chic, cool, chunky boots over them and a longer top.
– No satin dresses. No one looks good in satin dresses unless it’s from Betsey Johnson or Dolce & Gabbana, you weigh less than 130 pounds, have three pairs of Spanx on and it’s New Years Eve.

Shoes
– Yes to nice flats: Tory Burch, etc. More evening-ish, understated, patent leather good. I’m thinking mid-height Mary Jane heels, or mid-height chunky Kate Spade.
– Booties ok if you can pull them off, aka probably not.

Jewelry
– I expect EVERYONE to be wearing accessories. This is an important part of every outfit and can make or break any ensemble.
– I’m weird about accessories. I’m not saying you have to wear a Harry Winston wreath, but I am saying I won’t tolerate any gross plastic shizzzz. I love things on wrists and I demand earrings if your ears are pierced.

Hair, makeup and nails
– Blush. This is not optional.
– You don’t need to pile on the makeup but you need to look like somebody they’d die to hang out with.

Eh, why don’t you just read them for yourself? All pages below the cut.

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